in the beginning...
Breathe.
It's what I have to stop and remind myself, not just every day, but about every moment now.
Can
we please recapture the chaos that I have fondly called my life for the past six months?
Let's see... May 2006... graduated from here, Wake Forest University in the quaint tobacco-producing metropolis of Winston-Salem, NC (see beautiful foto thanks to the talented Joe Martinez to the left.)
Then spent the summer from May until August being a crazy backpacking, white water rafting, biking, and climbing things here (see foto of the barn and big top to the right) at the cherished JH Ranch in dear, sweet Etna, California, population under 1000.
Now, after the short m
onth of September of feeling guilty for simply exisiting and relaxing at home in the horse capital of the world (which could be a lie, I just thought it might apply) Lexington, KY (note foto to the left is neither my house nor my horse farm), I find myself in yet a new and evermore different location.
Since October 1, 2006, I have been in Sevilla, Spain (see foto of the Torre del Oro along the picturesque river) struggling to grasp and piece together how I have been so blessed as to have expereienced all of these incredibly distinct, equally won
derful places. I am still very much in shock and reeling from the multitude of transitions which has taken its toll on my body and my mind in many and varied ways (not excluding my poor skin being one of them... no worries everyone... it's starting to clear up now.)
As I have lived these past six months, sometimes I get nervous that that is all I have done. That is... just live. I suppose at some times in life that is simply all you can do is "just live." I think my concern is at some point it is easy for me to feel like life is just happening to me or even worse... life is just doing me instead of me doing life. Live is a verb and it is something that I would like to do myself, thank you very much. I don't know why transitions like this are so hard for me. Perhaps it is because I empty so much of myself into whatever it is that I'm doing at the moment that when I have to end it, I feel like I'm leaving so much of myself behind... that when I move onto the next stage, I'm actually only a portion of myself. The good news is that the Lord is faithful in filling that part back up, and not once have I been left in the cold... even this time. :)
I will not lie, I've had some pretty difficult transitions which I've cried myself through... moving from Alabama to Kentucky, leaving Kentucky for Wake, then leaving Wake for... "the real world" (my Mom says this is a "thing" of mine that I've been doing since I was a child, when we moved from Texas to Alabama at the age of 4, my Mom had to stop the car and console me because I was crying so hard), but (returning to what I'm not lying about)... this transition to Spain has by far been the hardest (being "homeless" for two weeks while looking for a piso)... which is why I have been here 17 days without getting in touch with anyone. I figure that no one likes to hear people complain, so I spared the grief. However, I will say that things are more than looking up now... I am absurdly excited to fully begin life here... and I can honestly look back at the past two weeks and already see the good from them. My lesson: hard times are not necessarily bad times.
Ok, enough thoughts for now... I have school in the morning. :) More on life here in Spain, school, the people, my piso, and pictures to come.
It's what I have to stop and remind myself, not just every day, but about every moment now.
Can
we please recapture the chaos that I have fondly called my life for the past six months?Let's see... May 2006... graduated from here, Wake Forest University in the quaint tobacco-producing metropolis of Winston-Salem, NC (see beautiful foto thanks to the talented Joe Martinez to the left.)
Then spent the summer from May until August being a crazy backpacking, white water rafting, biking, and climbing things here (see foto of the barn and big top to the right) at the cherished JH Ranch in dear, sweet Etna, California, population under 1000.
Now, after the short m
onth of September of feeling guilty for simply exisiting and relaxing at home in the horse capital of the world (which could be a lie, I just thought it might apply) Lexington, KY (note foto to the left is neither my house nor my horse farm), I find myself in yet a new and evermore different location.Since October 1, 2006, I have been in Sevilla, Spain (see foto of the Torre del Oro along the picturesque river) struggling to grasp and piece together how I have been so blessed as to have expereienced all of these incredibly distinct, equally won
derful places. I am still very much in shock and reeling from the multitude of transitions which has taken its toll on my body and my mind in many and varied ways (not excluding my poor skin being one of them... no worries everyone... it's starting to clear up now.)As I have lived these past six months, sometimes I get nervous that that is all I have done. That is... just live. I suppose at some times in life that is simply all you can do is "just live." I think my concern is at some point it is easy for me to feel like life is just happening to me or even worse... life is just doing me instead of me doing life. Live is a verb and it is something that I would like to do myself, thank you very much. I don't know why transitions like this are so hard for me. Perhaps it is because I empty so much of myself into whatever it is that I'm doing at the moment that when I have to end it, I feel like I'm leaving so much of myself behind... that when I move onto the next stage, I'm actually only a portion of myself. The good news is that the Lord is faithful in filling that part back up, and not once have I been left in the cold... even this time. :)
I will not lie, I've had some pretty difficult transitions which I've cried myself through... moving from Alabama to Kentucky, leaving Kentucky for Wake, then leaving Wake for... "the real world" (my Mom says this is a "thing" of mine that I've been doing since I was a child, when we moved from Texas to Alabama at the age of 4, my Mom had to stop the car and console me because I was crying so hard), but (returning to what I'm not lying about)... this transition to Spain has by far been the hardest (being "homeless" for two weeks while looking for a piso)... which is why I have been here 17 days without getting in touch with anyone. I figure that no one likes to hear people complain, so I spared the grief. However, I will say that things are more than looking up now... I am absurdly excited to fully begin life here... and I can honestly look back at the past two weeks and already see the good from them. My lesson: hard times are not necessarily bad times.
Ok, enough thoughts for now... I have school in the morning. :) More on life here in Spain, school, the people, my piso, and pictures to come.
posted by Julie Ann at 11:50 PM
2 Comments:
Uuyyyy nena, ¡qué celosa estoy! Siempre recordaré mis primeras semanas viviendo en México...las más dificiles de mi vida. Pero como dices, "hard times are not necessarily bad times." Es cierto! Disfruta tu tiempo en España!
Once again, I will be the one writing in English...as I do not know the other language posted here. I'm so glad you're doing a blog!!! We rejoiced together at the office when you got an apartment, and I will be taking you before the throne for whatever comes your way. I love and miss you, my friend!
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